Leap of Faith

Rough pounding heart

Wings sweaty

Got closer to the edge

One-way Jetty

Who goes first?

Shawn?

Adam?

Lets keep pushing until someone goes

Soft down feathers

Ruffled and organized

The edge is getting closer

Strangling time

Weary of the fate below

Flippers are tingling

Hearts on fire

The first to go wins the first desire.

Horror Poem

Mr. Bradshaw

By: Charles Richmond

Dear Mr. Bradshaw

How is your wife?

Are you happy with your career?

Your path?

Your life?

We need to talk
I think I have a fix
Meet me at your house
I'll be there at six

Take a look around Mr. Bradshaw

Have you seen the glasses on the mantle?

The haircut?

The candles?

The stupid little looks with her three heads and the flannel

Fuck that bitch and her scandal

I can help you Mr. Bradshaw

Although it may be a gamble

Turn the TV up loud but don’t change the channel

We’re gonna hurt this bitch

 Bring her life down to shambles

And let her feel helpless, trampled, and mishandled

AHHHH, HELP ME PLEEASE!

Shut up bitch it’s only the preamble

We’re gonna make you feel worthless

Show you your life is all but substantial

Hand me the knife Mr. Bradshaw

NOOO LET ME GO PLEEASE!

Quiet you whore!

I’ll smash your hands with an anvil

You see what you’ve done?

Is this what you wanted for you daughter and son?

I don’t think so

Your life is undo-ing

And I’ve just begun

I am the undo-er

You’ll soon be undone

Come closer Mr. Bradshaw

We need a sample

Deep inside the hippocampal

This bitch won’t remember shit

Her head will be scrambled

Re-wired

Canceled

When the bitch comes to

And goes off the handle

Call the ambul

Call her the example

When she rambles, they’ll take her to the ward in shambles

Life can be a handful Mr. Bradshaw

It's relative and circumstantial

Take what you want from this but remember

You must remain manful.

Review of "The First Day" by Edward Jones, and "Cooling The House" by Mark Liedner

In the first reading “The First day” by Edward P Jones, I thought it was a really good story, and he did an excellent job of taking the point of view of the little girl. He had her react exactly how I would expect a little girl of that age to act. It was a very easy read, and held my attention well. In the other piece, the poem “Cooling The House” by Mark Liedner, I couldn’t really get into it. I think it was because it was audio, and had a picture of the author. I had a hard time getting into it as a poem because I see poetry as a complex and creative manner of telling a story. I saw Liedner as a stoner, and he sounded like he was stoned while reading the story, and to me it sounded like a half witted rant secondary to being high, and bored.

POV of character who does not understand whats going on around them

Buzz

            “What do you think those humans over there are saying Gus?” Buzz said as he stared over at the people. “Gus I’ve been trying for half my life to understand what they were saying, so I could find out when they were coming after me with that giant flat plastic thing” Gus replied. The people spoke a language uncomprehendable to little Buzz and his friend Gus, and always seemed to show their hatred towards the two friends. “Just because they are so much bigger than us doesn’t mean they should disrespect us like that all the time” Gus stated. “I know what you mean Gus, they killed my female, and now I have to find a new one to reproduce with, and that’s going to be hard stuck in this house all of the time”. Buzz nervously said. There are not many other flies in the house. “the only other potential mates I have seen are the nasty ones that live near the dog, and the trash can. I’m a sophisticated fellow” Buzz announced with confidence. “I require a sophisticated female. Smooth, black, quiet, and low key. Not those big noisy ones with the shiny green butt, they are catty and crass” Buzz complained.

            Buzz went on to check around the house for any possible females to mate with. Gus still had his female, and offered to let Buzz mate with her, for at least one round of offspring, but Buzz refused. His pride, is too strong. Later that night around 6:00 dinner was served for the humans, and Gus flew in to check it out. “I can’t resist the smell Gus, its so good, it draws me in” said Buzz with an extra little pep in his flight. “Your right Buzz, it’s nearly impossible to stay away. Lets go get some!” Gus announced. Both Gus and Buzz fly over to the plate centered in front of the male human, and land on a delicious meatball. The man quickly flaps his hand back and forth over Buzz and Gus yelling “SHOE FLY! THAT’S MY MEAT PIE, GET ON OUTA HERE BEFORE YOU DIE!” Gus and Buzz quickly fly out of the way to avoid getting hit. “What is that man saying Gus? It looks like he doesn’t like the smell or something” Buzz wondered. “IT SMELLS GREAT!” Gus yelled as he took flight high above the table in excitement, he fluttered and zipped around the room with joy as if he just hit maturity. “WEEEEEEE!” Gus yelled as he dove in for some more meatballs. Buzz joined him in his desperate attempt at more meatballs. “If this human doesn’t want it I’ll take it, I’ll take it any day of the week” buzz mumbled with a mouth full of sauce.

            “I warned you Fly, to stay outa my Pie, you belong in a pig Sty, now its time to DIE!” the man swatted and swung vigorously at Gus and Buzz. The two friends flew frantically over to the curtains on the wall to take a breather and regroup. “What’s wrong with this guy? Its just meatballs, they are delicious. I’m not sure why he hates them so much and why he thinks its our fault that he hates them” Gus stated in defense to their getaway. Gus walked out from behind the fold in the curtain to see if the man was coming, and FWAP! Gus fell to his death; meanwhile Buzz was knocked so hard he was disoriented. Buzz flew away slowly to another room to gather himself. Shocked with the thought that his partner in crime was just killed by one of the humans, he spent the rest of that night in the darkness behind the curtain in another room.

            The next morning when Buzz got himself together he thought about his search for a mate. He thought, well I guess since Gus is gone now I can use his female. Buzz flew around the house to find Gus’s female, to offer her his services in the survival of their species. Buzz noticed her what looked like feeding on a swirly brown thing hanging from the ceiling. “OOOH yum! I didn’t expect breakfast to be so easy today. Is it good?” Buzz asked as he flew around Gus’s female sitting on the strange structure. “It smells so good, like sugar and molasses.” Buzz thought. Buzz landed in front of Gus’s female to have casual conversation over a morning snack, to help sugar coat his proposal. “How does it taste?” Buzz asked. No response came from Gus’s female. “I was thinking, would you want to go make a couple hundred offspring this evening?” Buzz asked boldly with confidence. Buzz thought to himself after this statement “It’s worked before, why wouldn’t it work now?” No response came from the female. “Hey! Did you hear me?” no response again. Buzz then decided that he was not such the smooth talker after all, and decided to leave. “What the? I can’t move! My Wing is stuck!” Buzz cried.

            Buzz lie there helplessly stuck to the brown structure hanging from the ceiling starring at the female in front of him. She was dead, they all were, nobody left. Buzz starred at what would have been the last hope of his survivorship. As his life slips away he stares, into the hopes he had, his sophisticated female, his meatball Mondays, he starred. As darkness crept over the room that night Buzz remained, and darkness crept over him.

News-Article Character Expression

My name is Hannah Smutney, and I am a member of the Humans Vs. Zombies club of McDaniel College. The annual zombie run is my forte. I live for this day and think about it countless times throughout the year. It brings so much creativity and joy to the community, because as many of the degree programs at McDaniel College are difficult it is extremely therapeutic to let go once in a while and overthrow the world with a zombie apocalypse. It is a delicate task to master the art of zombie makeup, but after my experience in the club I think I can handle the task. I woke up at 4:00 am just to help out my fellow zombies with their makeup. I know we can get a lot of those runners this year and scare the living daylights out of them. We will see what the non student, volunteers bring to the table as well. This should be interesting to see how many people we can turn into zombies before they reach the finish line. Its important to appreciate a good character when it comes to zombie runs. I know at least 5 people who will be at their top performance for this event, and I expect no less from myself. This should be a moment to go down in history, and a bar will be set that is difficult to meet for future members.

Character Sketch review, and Reflection of "Damaged"

I really enjoyed writing in the play format because it seemed like I could take a story that would be best portrayed through body language and dialogue, and write it in a way that let the audience catch the inferences thrown out there. In my play I noted that the boy had a foster mother who doesn’t pay any attention to him and that he stays out of her way, illustrating that he is emotionally damaged, in addition to this aspect, I added that he was immature for his age, and doesn’t have any friends due to this. With that in mind, we can infer that the best thing for him would be to find a role model, and a friend. With Shed I noted that he is a depressed widower, who drinks too much and his apartment is in shambles, with no friends, and no purpose in life without his wife. With that in mind, we can infer that the best thing for him is a reason to keep going, and someone to talk to, someone that he can fix, in order to pull his life back together.

            I knew that I had a good start when it came to their backgrounds. They both had psychological issues, and needed help in some way. They had a common link to the same comic book store. I then only needed to develop an instance where they could help each other. I thought it was difficult to keep the play confined to one setting, so I imagined a larger set, where you could see the park (fake) and a (real) bench in the background, and then in the foreground would be the inside of the comic book store with an interior door to an adjacent apartment. The reason I had to think of how the set may be built is because I had multiple settings in my play. I didn’t think that I could capture the weight of the story in one dialogue session, so I had to build the story by putting Raymond in the park crying, and Shed coming to the rescue, otherwise it wouldn’t feel realistic for them to have a strong enough bond to exchange gifts. The gift exchange was the climax of the play, because it indicated a mutual benefit to both characters, and in the end this was reinforced when Shed went to bed and thanked his deceased wife, as if she gave him purpose again.

The Odd Couple review

        I don’t think that Olive got the same thing from the situation that Flo got, because olive was excited to get her home back to the way she likes it. Olive did learn something though. She learned that she is not quite as lonely as she thought, just sexually frustrated. Flo learned that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and her own strength is what drives her happiness. If she fails to portray the strength she found in the end of the play, then she will continue on her path of depression and anxiety. Perhaps the path of anxiety is naturally in her cards, but depression is only a state of mind, and she can pull herself out of that by focusing on her individuality. I think the valuable lesson Flo learned here was to rely on herself to make things better. Olive I think was positively and negatively affected by this experience. The reason I say this is because Olive learned that nobody can make her as happy as she can, and that was the positive message that Olive learned. The negative message that Olive got from this was that its difficult bring friends into your home as a roommate, because although you like each other, it is easy to damage the relationship you have by conflicting priorities. Olive and Flo are so opposite of each other that their friendship is of mutual benefit to each other, but their extreme differences cause conflict in the home.

Damaged

A play for those who have been broken -Charles Richmond-

Raymond walks into the comic book store with his shoes untied and plastic hammer that looks like a replica of the mighty Thor’s hammer hanging out of his back pocket.

Store clerk

Hey son, tie your shoe.

Didn’t your mother teach you to keep your shoes tied? You’re going to ruin your laces.

Raymond

Oh! Thanks for letting me know Mr. (long silence)

Store clerk

Shed, I’m Mr. Shed

Raymond

Thanks Mr. Shed, but my foster mom hasn’t really taught me much of anything.

I just stay out of her way and fight off the frost giants with my hammer.

Shed

I see

I’ve noticed you playing in the park across the street a lot.

It looks like you have a lot of fun.

Raymond

FUN!?

I don’t have fun over there; I’m too busy saving the world from the frost giants to think about having fun!

Shed

Oh, my mistake.

I would hate for the frost giants to get in my store, thanks for protecting me.

Raymond

It is but a duty to my people, Mr. Shed

Raymond leaves the store to head over to the park with his plastic hammer in his hand. Meanwhile Mr. Shed contemplates Raymond’s situation.

(In Sheds thoughts)

This poor kid

He’s obviously way too old to be carrying around a plastic Thor’s hammer

I see this kid everyday, and never is he with anyone.

He comes in here to read these comics and goes over to play by himself in the park

I feel bad for him

That night after Mr. Shed closed the store. He went home to his 50 empty bottles of liquor scattered across his apartment, and leftover popcorn kernels all over the recliner and floor. His carpets were multicolored from all of the stains over the years.

He peers at the only picture on the wall, containing a woman, in the arms of himself, with smiles on both of their faces. Indicating a sense of remorse and sorrow.

Mr. Shed opens another bottle of gut rot whiskey, and begins to sip while he watches Shark Week shows on Animal Planet.

The next day Mr. Shed gets up early and heads over to the comic book store 2 hours before the opening time. He sits on the bench out front and casually looks around at the people and smiles, indicating he was thinking about the woman in the photograph. Over in the park he notices a boy balled up in the corner of a park bench crying and alone. He can see that under the bench lied Thor’s hammer. Mr. Shed approached the boy casually.

Shed

Son!? What are you doing over here? Shouldn’t you be in school?

Raymond jumps, and looked up startled that someone was speaking to him.

Raymond

Yes, but I didn’t think anyone would notice if I was gone today

Its not like they even notice when I am there.

Mr. Shed looks down at Raymond noticing a black eye forming and a little swelling. His pants were mildly wet and dirty from what appears to be falling on the ground.

Shed

How did you get that black eye?

Are you ok?

Raymond

Yeah

I’ll be ok.

Just some kids on my way to school.

They didn’t like what I was wearing, and so I hit one of them with my hammer

There was too many frost giants with them this time.

Shed

Come on in the store, ill open up early today, you need to get cleaned up

They walk over to the store go inside, and Raymond heads to the bathroom to wash the dirt off his hands. Raymond comes back into the set.

Raymond

My name is Raymond

I noticed you never got my name, and you keep calling me “son”

Shed

True

I was wondering what your name was, but I figured if you wanted me to know you’d tell me

Do those kids give you a hard time often?

Raymond

Usually everyday, but I don’t usually get beat up like this.

The power of Thor works in mysterious ways

You never know when the hammer will empower you

You have to be worthy of its might

Shed

Yes, you do

I too wielded the mighty hammer once

But that was a long time ago, and that story takes some time

Raymond

I sure would like to hear it some time Mr. Shed, but I think I should get to school

Shed

One second Raymond!

Here, I have a gift for you that might help

Mr. Shed walks into the back room and brings out an old pair of glasses that looked as if they were from the 70’s

Shed

Now look

These are invisibility glasses

They were acquired from the downfall of Mr. Evil

I was lucky enough to get my hands on them

As long as you wear these nobody can see you

You must be careful though, because they can still hear you

Raymond

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOUR GONNA LET ME HAVE THOSE?

Those other kids aren’t gonna give me any trouble anymore before school

Shed

Yep!

Just keep in mind, they’re old like me, and may not work all of the time, but most of the time they do

Raymond reached in his back pocket and pulled out Thor’s hammer. Stared at it for a moment, and handed it to Mr. Shed

Raymond

Will you hold on to this for me?

Because you were a previous wielder of Thor’s hammer, I will let you use it to fight the frost giants off of your store.

Mr. Shed accepted, and smiled.

Raymond headed off to school with his new glasses excitedly.

Mr. Shed closed up the store that night and hung Thor’s hammer by the door so Raymond could see that he put it there to ward off the frost giants. Mr. Shed went home that night to his sloppy and disgusting apartment. He sat in his dirty old recliner in front of the T.V and looked up at the photograph. He smiled at it, and got up and threw his full bottle away and went to bed.

Shed

Thank you dear

You’ve always been there for me.

Character sketch

Raymond

Raymond grew up in Baltimore Maryland. He was raised in a foster home with a brother who was these folks actual son. Raymond always got treated like the red headed stepchild of the family, and never felt like he was part of the family because he was adopted. Raymond’s foster mother Mary, father William, and brother Zach—all lived in an upper class home in a ritzy area of the city. Raymond’s rough childhood of neglect caused him to retreat into comic books, and fantasy worlds. He would imagine his waking life was a battleground and he was the representation of Thor on earth. Currently Raymond is 12 years old and still finds himself wandering his way into the comic book store everyday to read the comics on the used shelf, because he had no money to buy them. After reading, he takes to the streets to pretend he is Thor and searching for something out of the ordinary that he can conjure a mission out of. Raymond has no friends, due to his stunted maturity, and is a product of his psychological dismay endured throughout his life. Raymond wants friends, but he hasn’t had a lot of opportunity to see anyone outside of school, because his foster parents refuse to take him places.

Walter Shed

            Walter shed is a 60-year-old African American man, who lives in Baltimore Maryland. Walter is from Queen Annes county Maryland, but after his service in Viet Nam for the U.S. Army he moved to Baltimore to live in the city. Walter grew up out in the county and lived with his parents, and had no siblings. His parents are now deceased. Walter got married in 1980 and lived with his wife in the city. Walter never wanted to go to college. He thought that was for rich people, and he found peace and content working retail. He never had much money, but he always remained optimistic for his wife’s peace of mind. In 2005 his wife died of breast cancer. Walter never had any great friends as a child because everyone lived so far apart. As an adult the friendships he did have as a child fizzled out once he joined the Army. Walter has been working in a comic book store for 10 years now, and finds himself wrapped up in the monotony of the last 10 years of his life. He is now alone, a widower with no friends or family. He finds himself sitting on the bench outside his store everyday 2 hours before it opens to watch families across the street at the park, because it reminds him of the love he once had. Walter is still so sad when he is at home over the loss of his wife, that he tries to drown his sorrows in the bottle. Walter feels like he has no purpose, and is ready o meet his maker, and be with his wife again.

I Married a Succubus

I Married a Succubus

Growing up in the suburbs led me to believe a certain ethical code about marriage. I never really gave it much thought, or had worried about it at all through my years as a teenager. I was the first of my friends to get married when I hit 21, so I had no credible source to gain insight from. I often heard rumors about how people change once they tie the knot. I wasn’t concerned, I knew I was in love with her and she was in love with me, and we were going to get married!

Neither one of us came from much money, nor did we think it was necessary to have a big fancy wedding. Together we decided that a Las Vegas wedding was the best choice for us. It was only a 4-hour drive from our place in southern California. I passed on the chance to get married by Elvis, because I doubted my soon to be wife would enjoy the memory of such a sacred night if Elvis took the spotlight. The king of rock-n-roll would be fun twist to an already seemingly trashy wedding in the first place, but my intentions were of higher standard than that. Regardless of the mixed feelings of the time and place of our wedding, we were happy to go through with it.

5 years later I thought about that day I got married, and all of the people that told me she was going to change, and I laughed. I didn’t think she changed at all; she was still my loving wife who I loved from the first few dates. While I thought back to the dates we used to go on, and the fun experiences we had, and the way we would talk to each other. I smiled knowing that those were the happiest days of my life. Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks and I was speechless from the thoughts going through my head. She was far from the woman I married 5 years ago. How could I have not noticed? Why has it changed? Did I change? Is this what I want? I was flooded with questions, and began to think about the arguments, and the daily shit that I push under the rug, because it’s easier than dealing with the drama.

The next day I went about life as usual, but with all of this new information on my mind. She was sleeping still when I had to go to work in the morning, and when I got out of bed she snarled and grumbled and what sounded like a hiss. Sounds you would expect to hear in the underworld. I looked over at her and saw her leg hanging out from under the covers, and felt compelled to seduce her right then and there. I thought to myself, based on history that’s never worked out in my favor very often, and decided to head towards the door. As I passed the bed I could have sworn I felt something moist and leathery whip my leg, but I ignored it and went to work.

Once I got home from work that day I asked my wife what she planned on making for dinner. She never replied, and so I walked to the fridge and got a pickle, and a beer. I head up to the bedroom to get on the computer to check my email, and notice that all of the laundry is still in the floor. At that point I sat on the bed for a moment thinking about when we first got together and she made me dinner, was excited to see me when I came home, and always had my laundry done. At that point I had been doing my own laundry for nearly a year. I confronted her about the laundry, and dinner situation that night. When I asked, “hey, what’s going on? You used to always have my laundry done when I got home from work and now you don’t, your not working and not cooking or cleaning, what are you doing all day?” and she replied with “I do, I clean all the time babe, and I miss you so much everyday” then she rushed in to hug me and kiss me and wrap me up in the moment. As I brushed my hands across her hair I could feel two lumps on her head that felt very concerning. I quickly brought my hand back to where they were, and found nothing.

I went to bed that night in a bad mood thinking about how my life has really taken a dive in the deep end, and I cant navigate my way out. She climbed in bed next to me and told me that I needed to get up and wash the dishes. I rolled over and said, “but I made dinner.” She pursed her eyebrows, and squinted her eyes at me, revealing the flames in her soul. I went down and did the dishes fuming mad over the audacity of her lazy ass. When I returned I climbed back in bed with vigor, and she rolled over and reached her hand down and grabbed my crotch and leaned in to kiss me and whispered, “thanks.” I saw it then for the first time. A pair of glossy black horns about 2 inches in length erupting from her head. The sexiest look on her face, even in the midst of an argument, and a long leathery tail perfected for causing pain. Flames and soot were spewing from her eyes as she smiled. In every definition of the term and every illustration, I could see—my wife was a succubus! I could hear her lure me closer “Adam” she said seductively as she licked her lips. “AAAAAADAAAAMMM” “ADAM!” I jumped up realizing I was asleep to hear my wife asking “Adam, get up, your gonna be late.” I was relieved to find that it was all just a dream. I gave it a lot of thought that day at work, and about the dream I had about the succubus, and realized that she really was a succubus. She did nothing to participate in the marriage, made me do all of the work, and every time I complained she would seduce me to diffuse the situation. I tried to make things work over the next year, but eventually I stopped giving her my soul, and decided to part ways and find myself again.

I was under the impression that people got married and lived happily ever after. I thought that true love is all that mattered in a relationship, and as long as you had that, nothing can tear you apart. Was I ever wrong, monotony is a marriages worst enemy. If you don’t work on the little things that keep a smile on your face, as well as the face of your lover, than you should just wear horns on your head to make it more obvious that you are going nowhere good. The problem that I had was, not taking the time to nourish what we started together, and because it was not maintained I lost my marriage. My theory still holds to this day, I believe a relationship comes with three stages. The first stage is exciting and erotic and easy to endure. The second phase is the long monotonous day in day out drama/fun where you learn everything about each other including the little quirks that make each other tick. The third phase is doing all of those little things that make your partner tick and make them happy, even if it requires sacrifice from your own life. I tried to explain this to my wife, but it was too far-gone and resentment had taken over.

Santas Dead

Santa’s Dead

On Christmas Eve Santa met his fate. Late at night, roughly one o’clock in the morning I was sound asleep in my bed. I was woken by a sound, which sounded like Christmas bells, and deep voices. Nobody gets in my house and robs me on Christmas Eve. I reached for my baseball bat and went to check out the noise. There was nothing, not even a peep; the voices were gone and the bells had stopped. I wondered if I was hearing things because I was half asleep. I thought, it could have been the neighbors—so I went outside to check. When I looked at my house from the outside I could see that there had been snow knocked off of my roof.

“Now I’m on to something,” I excitedly said reminding myself that I wasn’t crazy. Then I noticed hoof prints in the snow, next to my drip pan at the corner of my garage. A lot of hoof prints too, and I realized what I had left in that drip pan. Antifreeze, deer wont last very long after drinking that much antifreeze. One strange item that stood out to me that night was the milk duds all over the ground—near the hoof prints in the snow.

            “Its reindeer!” I proudly concluded. I then knew that reindeer had to have pooped milk duds, because that was the only logical explanation for this on Christmas Eve. At about two o’clock in the morning, once I declared Santa’s reindeer drank my antifreeze and pooped all over my drive way I went back to my bedroom. All the lights went out in the house, I looked out the window to the neighbors and theirs was out as well. We had a community power outage an hour after reindeer poisoned themselves. Santa crashed into the power lines. His reindeer crapped out and he must have went down with them. The timeline fits, and is the best explanation of the voices, bells, hoof prints, milk duds, and power outage. It’s true boys and girls, Santa died.

Heather Havrilesky Comparison

The stories compared are "A Tree Falls in The Forest" and "Disastrously Unprepared"

Both of the stories were very similar in their style, because they both are self-reflecting stories. In “A Tree Falls in The Forest” the tone is very age appropriate of the character, and tells a story about lessons learned in a philosophical context about life events. In “Disastrously Unprepared” the author explains in depth about the important moments involved with learning life lessons in adulthood. The lessons are always referred to in hindsight in these stories, in order to make the reader feel good, and optimistic about their life. The biggest difference I see in these two stories is that in “A Tree Falls in The Forest” it is about relationships, and the effect self image has on them—whereas in “Disastrously Unprepared” it is about accepting who you are, and the life you live. In “Disastrously Unprepared” the story was chopped  up into segments of time, and gave light on different stages of life, and in “A Tree Falls in The Forest” the story was more straight forward momentum, and only jumped in time near the end when the moral of the story was ready to come out. I liked the style of “A Tree Falls in The Forest” best because it was easier to read and kept my attention better—due to the relatable nature of the message “everyone else is just a person like you are, the only differences are superficial.” This is more of an important reminder to me on how to control my stress, than the other story had about finding the beauty in my flaws.

Drunken That Knight

Imitating the topic and tone of "Drunken Sonnet 24" by Daniel Bailey

DRUNKEN THAT KNIGHT

IF I CAN’T KICK THAT BALL OVER THE HOUSE

THAN WILL DESTROY IT WITH A JOUST

OF NOBLE CREEDS IN DESPERATE VILLAGES

THE END IS NIGH, TO THE BALL THAT PILLAGES

I WILL THIS BALL LIKE I WILL MY DRINKS

POUNDED AND STREWN WHILE STAYING IN SYNCH

BEWILDERED AND DAFT FROM THE CULLING OF JACK

I WILL JOUST YOU HERE AND ADD YOU TO THE STACK

LEEWARD IT FLEW IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

ECHOING THROUGH TIME LIKE A SOUND IN A QUARRY

I JUST FELL LIKE A ROCK

AND LOST TRACK OF MY BALL

THE MOVIES WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS AROUND

HACKING AND SLASHING AND CLAWING THE GROUND

RELENTLESS AND DAUNTING AS GAUNTLETS OF STEEL

THE TIP OF MY JOUST IS STUCK IN THE HEEL.

-Charles Richmond

Story

Geoff, an angry man without his coffee, was driving quickly to the local gas station to pick up a cup. He typically has his cup by 6:30 in the morning due to his early morning commute to work. Working construction requires him to leave well before the crack of dawn in order to start work when the sun comes up. His work truck, an old 95 Toyota, pine green, with scratches down the side and a dented tailgate was nearly appalling to the eye, but functional non the less. He did not care how his truck looked as it was for work, and he used his truck for many years stretching the limits of it’s capabilities on numerous occasions. Geoff arrived at the gas station at 6:27 according to his clock and began to prepare his cup. “Hey man” a voice called over Geoff’s shoulder “could you move over a little so I could get some coffee?” he asked. Geoff replied “can’t you see the other side of the counter is empty? I’m here, making my cup of coffee, alone, and you want me to move for you? Who do you think you are?” “Easy pal, don’t give yourself an aneurism. I’m Dr. House from the local hospital” the man replied. “I assumed you would have a little decency in regards to moving over, because I have a bum leg and every single step I take sends pain up my back”. “That’s not my problem House, just mind your damn business and find another space to make your coffee” Geoff said with a malicious undertone. Dr. House approached the counter next to Geoff, and used a small open space right next to him. He reached over in front of Geoff towards the sugar rack, and accidently dropped a few sugar packets into Geoff’s coffee in unison with dropping his cane across the counter in front of Geoff. Geoff was dumbfounded at the nerve of this guy as he fished the paper packets out of his cup. “What the hell is wrong with you Dr. House? Your dropping sugar into my coffee and you are way too close to me!” Geoff blurted out in rage. House replied “excuse me” as he bent over to retrieve his cane while his opposite hand slid along the counters edge for support as he bent over—knocking Geoff’s coffee over on the counter. Geoff now knew that all of this was intentional and was at his breaking point “you are so lucky I’m on probation pal, I would…” Geoff caught himself before he threatened the man. House was finished with his coffee by the time Geoff had cleaned up the mess, and both of them walked out the door House feeling victorious and Geoff with steam coming out of his ears and with no coffee. They both get in their cars and proceed to two different exits from the same parking lot with intent on driving the same direction. House was in the leading position if they were to pull out at the same time. Geoff floors it spinning wheels and causing a lot of noise, enough for House to notice as he pulled out. Dr. House has one last ploy of vengeance in him and pulls out right in front of Geoff Causing Geoff to panic and at that last moment Geoff was so angry that he didn’t go for the brake, and crashed his trusty old truck into the rear end of House’s BMW. House called the police, “This raging lunatic followed me out of the gas station, peeled out and rammed into the back of me on the street”. The driver’s door opens “you think this is funny doctor? Here let me show you what funny is!” Geoff yelled in close proximity to House’s phone. Geoff pulled him out of the car and began punching House in the face. A passing car stopped and Geoff quickly stopped the assault in hopes of not getting caught. At that moment a police car pulled up, aware of the assault from the phone call, and shot his Taser at Geoff taking him to the ground and handcuffing in the street. House stood up wiping the blood from his lip, and smiled at Geoff smugly implicating an additional victory. Geoff struggled in rage and yelled “THIS IS’NT OVER DOCTOR!”.