Drunken That Knight

Imitating the topic and tone of "Drunken Sonnet 24" by Daniel Bailey

DRUNKEN THAT KNIGHT

IF I CAN’T KICK THAT BALL OVER THE HOUSE

THAN WILL DESTROY IT WITH A JOUST

OF NOBLE CREEDS IN DESPERATE VILLAGES

THE END IS NIGH, TO THE BALL THAT PILLAGES

I WILL THIS BALL LIKE I WILL MY DRINKS

POUNDED AND STREWN WHILE STAYING IN SYNCH

BEWILDERED AND DAFT FROM THE CULLING OF JACK

I WILL JOUST YOU HERE AND ADD YOU TO THE STACK

LEEWARD IT FLEW IN A BLAZE OF GLORY

ECHOING THROUGH TIME LIKE A SOUND IN A QUARRY

I JUST FELL LIKE A ROCK

AND LOST TRACK OF MY BALL

THE MOVIES WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH THE DARKNESS AROUND

HACKING AND SLASHING AND CLAWING THE GROUND

RELENTLESS AND DAUNTING AS GAUNTLETS OF STEEL

THE TIP OF MY JOUST IS STUCK IN THE HEEL.

-Charles Richmond

Story

Geoff, an angry man without his coffee, was driving quickly to the local gas station to pick up a cup. He typically has his cup by 6:30 in the morning due to his early morning commute to work. Working construction requires him to leave well before the crack of dawn in order to start work when the sun comes up. His work truck, an old 95 Toyota, pine green, with scratches down the side and a dented tailgate was nearly appalling to the eye, but functional non the less. He did not care how his truck looked as it was for work, and he used his truck for many years stretching the limits of it’s capabilities on numerous occasions. Geoff arrived at the gas station at 6:27 according to his clock and began to prepare his cup. “Hey man” a voice called over Geoff’s shoulder “could you move over a little so I could get some coffee?” he asked. Geoff replied “can’t you see the other side of the counter is empty? I’m here, making my cup of coffee, alone, and you want me to move for you? Who do you think you are?” “Easy pal, don’t give yourself an aneurism. I’m Dr. House from the local hospital” the man replied. “I assumed you would have a little decency in regards to moving over, because I have a bum leg and every single step I take sends pain up my back”. “That’s not my problem House, just mind your damn business and find another space to make your coffee” Geoff said with a malicious undertone. Dr. House approached the counter next to Geoff, and used a small open space right next to him. He reached over in front of Geoff towards the sugar rack, and accidently dropped a few sugar packets into Geoff’s coffee in unison with dropping his cane across the counter in front of Geoff. Geoff was dumbfounded at the nerve of this guy as he fished the paper packets out of his cup. “What the hell is wrong with you Dr. House? Your dropping sugar into my coffee and you are way too close to me!” Geoff blurted out in rage. House replied “excuse me” as he bent over to retrieve his cane while his opposite hand slid along the counters edge for support as he bent over—knocking Geoff’s coffee over on the counter. Geoff now knew that all of this was intentional and was at his breaking point “you are so lucky I’m on probation pal, I would…” Geoff caught himself before he threatened the man. House was finished with his coffee by the time Geoff had cleaned up the mess, and both of them walked out the door House feeling victorious and Geoff with steam coming out of his ears and with no coffee. They both get in their cars and proceed to two different exits from the same parking lot with intent on driving the same direction. House was in the leading position if they were to pull out at the same time. Geoff floors it spinning wheels and causing a lot of noise, enough for House to notice as he pulled out. Dr. House has one last ploy of vengeance in him and pulls out right in front of Geoff Causing Geoff to panic and at that last moment Geoff was so angry that he didn’t go for the brake, and crashed his trusty old truck into the rear end of House’s BMW. House called the police, “This raging lunatic followed me out of the gas station, peeled out and rammed into the back of me on the street”. The driver’s door opens “you think this is funny doctor? Here let me show you what funny is!” Geoff yelled in close proximity to House’s phone. Geoff pulled him out of the car and began punching House in the face. A passing car stopped and Geoff quickly stopped the assault in hopes of not getting caught. At that moment a police car pulled up, aware of the assault from the phone call, and shot his Taser at Geoff taking him to the ground and handcuffing in the street. House stood up wiping the blood from his lip, and smiled at Geoff smugly implicating an additional victory. Geoff struggled in rage and yelled “THIS IS’NT OVER DOCTOR!”.