I Married a Succubus

I Married a Succubus

Growing up in the suburbs led me to believe a certain ethical code about marriage. I never really gave it much thought, or had worried about it at all through my years as a teenager. I was the first of my friends to get married when I hit 21, so I had no credible source to gain insight from. I often heard rumors about how people change once they tie the knot. I wasn’t concerned, I knew I was in love with her and she was in love with me, and we were going to get married!

Neither one of us came from much money, nor did we think it was necessary to have a big fancy wedding. Together we decided that a Las Vegas wedding was the best choice for us. It was only a 4-hour drive from our place in southern California. I passed on the chance to get married by Elvis, because I doubted my soon to be wife would enjoy the memory of such a sacred night if Elvis took the spotlight. The king of rock-n-roll would be fun twist to an already seemingly trashy wedding in the first place, but my intentions were of higher standard than that. Regardless of the mixed feelings of the time and place of our wedding, we were happy to go through with it.

5 years later I thought about that day I got married, and all of the people that told me she was going to change, and I laughed. I didn’t think she changed at all; she was still my loving wife who I loved from the first few dates. While I thought back to the dates we used to go on, and the fun experiences we had, and the way we would talk to each other. I smiled knowing that those were the happiest days of my life. Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks and I was speechless from the thoughts going through my head. She was far from the woman I married 5 years ago. How could I have not noticed? Why has it changed? Did I change? Is this what I want? I was flooded with questions, and began to think about the arguments, and the daily shit that I push under the rug, because it’s easier than dealing with the drama.

The next day I went about life as usual, but with all of this new information on my mind. She was sleeping still when I had to go to work in the morning, and when I got out of bed she snarled and grumbled and what sounded like a hiss. Sounds you would expect to hear in the underworld. I looked over at her and saw her leg hanging out from under the covers, and felt compelled to seduce her right then and there. I thought to myself, based on history that’s never worked out in my favor very often, and decided to head towards the door. As I passed the bed I could have sworn I felt something moist and leathery whip my leg, but I ignored it and went to work.

Once I got home from work that day I asked my wife what she planned on making for dinner. She never replied, and so I walked to the fridge and got a pickle, and a beer. I head up to the bedroom to get on the computer to check my email, and notice that all of the laundry is still in the floor. At that point I sat on the bed for a moment thinking about when we first got together and she made me dinner, was excited to see me when I came home, and always had my laundry done. At that point I had been doing my own laundry for nearly a year. I confronted her about the laundry, and dinner situation that night. When I asked, “hey, what’s going on? You used to always have my laundry done when I got home from work and now you don’t, your not working and not cooking or cleaning, what are you doing all day?” and she replied with “I do, I clean all the time babe, and I miss you so much everyday” then she rushed in to hug me and kiss me and wrap me up in the moment. As I brushed my hands across her hair I could feel two lumps on her head that felt very concerning. I quickly brought my hand back to where they were, and found nothing.

I went to bed that night in a bad mood thinking about how my life has really taken a dive in the deep end, and I cant navigate my way out. She climbed in bed next to me and told me that I needed to get up and wash the dishes. I rolled over and said, “but I made dinner.” She pursed her eyebrows, and squinted her eyes at me, revealing the flames in her soul. I went down and did the dishes fuming mad over the audacity of her lazy ass. When I returned I climbed back in bed with vigor, and she rolled over and reached her hand down and grabbed my crotch and leaned in to kiss me and whispered, “thanks.” I saw it then for the first time. A pair of glossy black horns about 2 inches in length erupting from her head. The sexiest look on her face, even in the midst of an argument, and a long leathery tail perfected for causing pain. Flames and soot were spewing from her eyes as she smiled. In every definition of the term and every illustration, I could see—my wife was a succubus! I could hear her lure me closer “Adam” she said seductively as she licked her lips. “AAAAAADAAAAMMM” “ADAM!” I jumped up realizing I was asleep to hear my wife asking “Adam, get up, your gonna be late.” I was relieved to find that it was all just a dream. I gave it a lot of thought that day at work, and about the dream I had about the succubus, and realized that she really was a succubus. She did nothing to participate in the marriage, made me do all of the work, and every time I complained she would seduce me to diffuse the situation. I tried to make things work over the next year, but eventually I stopped giving her my soul, and decided to part ways and find myself again.

I was under the impression that people got married and lived happily ever after. I thought that true love is all that mattered in a relationship, and as long as you had that, nothing can tear you apart. Was I ever wrong, monotony is a marriages worst enemy. If you don’t work on the little things that keep a smile on your face, as well as the face of your lover, than you should just wear horns on your head to make it more obvious that you are going nowhere good. The problem that I had was, not taking the time to nourish what we started together, and because it was not maintained I lost my marriage. My theory still holds to this day, I believe a relationship comes with three stages. The first stage is exciting and erotic and easy to endure. The second phase is the long monotonous day in day out drama/fun where you learn everything about each other including the little quirks that make each other tick. The third phase is doing all of those little things that make your partner tick and make them happy, even if it requires sacrifice from your own life. I tried to explain this to my wife, but it was too far-gone and resentment had taken over.