Tuesday, October 20, 2015

POV of character who does not understand whats going on around them


Buzz

            “What do you think those humans over there are saying Gus?” Buzz said as he stared over at the people. “Gus I’ve been trying for half my life to understand what they were saying, so I could find out when they were coming after me with that giant flat plastic thing” Gus replied. The people spoke a language uncomprehendable to little Buzz and his friend Gus, and always seemed to show their hatred towards the two friends. “Just because they are so much bigger than us doesn’t mean they should disrespect us like that all the time” Gus stated. “I know what you mean Gus, they killed my female, and now I have to find a new one to reproduce with, and that’s going to be hard stuck in this house all of the time”. Buzz nervously said. There are not many other flies in the house. “the only other potential mates I have seen are the nasty ones that live near the dog, and the trash can. I’m a sophisticated fellow” Buzz announced with confidence. “I require a sophisticated female. Smooth, black, quiet, and low key. Not those big noisy ones with the shiny green butt, they are catty and crass” Buzz complained.
            Buzz went on to check around the house for any possible females to mate with. Gus still had his female, and offered to let Buzz mate with her, for at least one round of offspring, but Buzz refused. His pride, is too strong. Later that night around 6:00 dinner was served for the humans, and Gus flew in to check it out. “I can’t resist the smell Gus, its so good, it draws me in” said Buzz with an extra little pep in his flight. “Your right Buzz, it’s nearly impossible to stay away. Lets go get some!” Gus announced. Both Gus and Buzz fly over to the plate centered in front of the male human, and land on a delicious meatball. The man quickly flaps his hand back and forth over Buzz and Gus yelling “SHOE FLY! THAT’S MY MEAT PIE, GET ON OUTA HERE BEFORE YOU DIE!” Gus and Buzz quickly fly out of the way to avoid getting hit. “What is that man saying Gus? It looks like he doesn’t like the smell or something” Buzz wondered. “IT SMELLS GREAT!” Gus yelled as he took flight high above the table in excitement, he fluttered and zipped around the room with joy as if he just hit maturity. “WEEEEEEE!” Gus yelled as he dove in for some more meatballs. Buzz joined him in his desperate attempt at more meatballs. “If this human doesn’t want it I’ll take it, I’ll take it any day of the week” buzz mumbled with a mouth full of sauce.
            “I warned you Fly, to stay outa my Pie, you belong in a pig Sty, now its time to DIE!” the man swatted and swung vigorously at Gus and Buzz. The two friends flew frantically over to the curtains on the wall to take a breather and regroup. “What’s wrong with this guy? Its just meatballs, they are delicious. I’m not sure why he hates them so much and why he thinks its our fault that he hates them” Gus stated in defense to their getaway. Gus walked out from behind the fold in the curtain to see if the man was coming, and FWAP! Gus fell to his death; meanwhile Buzz was knocked so hard he was disoriented. Buzz flew away slowly to another room to gather himself. Shocked with the thought that his partner in crime was just killed by one of the humans, he spent the rest of that night in the darkness behind the curtain in another room.
            The next morning when Buzz got himself together he thought about his search for a mate. He thought, well I guess since Gus is gone now I can use his female. Buzz flew around the house to find Gus’s female, to offer her his services in the survival of their species. Buzz noticed her what looked like feeding on a swirly brown thing hanging from the ceiling. “OOOH yum! I didn’t expect breakfast to be so easy today. Is it good?” Buzz asked as he flew around Gus’s female sitting on the strange structure. “It smells so good, like sugar and molasses.” Buzz thought. Buzz landed in front of Gus’s female to have casual conversation over a morning snack, to help sugar coat his proposal. “How does it taste?” Buzz asked. No response came from Gus’s female. “I was thinking, would you want to go make a couple hundred offspring this evening?” Buzz asked boldly with confidence. Buzz thought to himself after this statement “It’s worked before, why wouldn’t it work now?” No response came from the female. “Hey! Did you hear me?” no response again. Buzz then decided that he was not such the smooth talker after all, and decided to leave. “What the? I can’t move! My Wing is stuck!” Buzz cried.
            Buzz lie there helplessly stuck to the brown structure hanging from the ceiling starring at the female in front of him. She was dead, they all were, nobody left. Buzz starred at what would have been the last hope of his survivorship. As his life slips away he stares, into the hopes he had, his sophisticated female, his meatball Mondays, he starred. As darkness crept over the room that night Buzz remained, and darkness crept over him.

4 comments:

  1. Adam,
    Fantastic story, loved it. I felt like you really put yourself as the fly and how they see the world. I loved how they knew what the food was but not understand why the man was getting so angry. As soon as you said the brown swirly thing, I knew it was coming to the end. I was hoping he would notice that the female was stuck or something and not go on the trap. I have no suggestions, it was a great story and amazing job writing in a fly's point of view.
    -Alexandra

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  2. So, this story was pretty fun! I enjoyed how you didn't state that they were flies in the beginning. The context clues you put out weren't super obvious and it made it fun to figure out before you actually said it. The story was really comedic because of how the flies thought the exact opposite of what the humans thought. Again, your context clues in not stating certain things like the fly swater and the little sticky stuff you put on the ceiling was great! Great job! :D

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  3. I really liked you story. I think you did a great job following the perspective of a fly. I like how they didn't understand English, so they never understood what they were doing wrong. I though the story was great and it made me laugh quite a bit. Good job.

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  4. I really liked you story. I think you did a great job following the perspective of a fly. I like how they didn't understand English, so they never understood what they were doing wrong. I though the story was great and it made me laugh quite a bit. Good job.

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