Santas Dead

Santa’s Dead

On Christmas Eve Santa met his fate. Late at night, roughly one o’clock in the morning I was sound asleep in my bed. I was woken by a sound, which sounded like Christmas bells, and deep voices. Nobody gets in my house and robs me on Christmas Eve. I reached for my baseball bat and went to check out the noise. There was nothing, not even a peep; the voices were gone and the bells had stopped. I wondered if I was hearing things because I was half asleep. I thought, it could have been the neighbors—so I went outside to check. When I looked at my house from the outside I could see that there had been snow knocked off of my roof.

“Now I’m on to something,” I excitedly said reminding myself that I wasn’t crazy. Then I noticed hoof prints in the snow, next to my drip pan at the corner of my garage. A lot of hoof prints too, and I realized what I had left in that drip pan. Antifreeze, deer wont last very long after drinking that much antifreeze. One strange item that stood out to me that night was the milk duds all over the ground—near the hoof prints in the snow.

            “Its reindeer!” I proudly concluded. I then knew that reindeer had to have pooped milk duds, because that was the only logical explanation for this on Christmas Eve. At about two o’clock in the morning, once I declared Santa’s reindeer drank my antifreeze and pooped all over my drive way I went back to my bedroom. All the lights went out in the house, I looked out the window to the neighbors and theirs was out as well. We had a community power outage an hour after reindeer poisoned themselves. Santa crashed into the power lines. His reindeer crapped out and he must have went down with them. The timeline fits, and is the best explanation of the voices, bells, hoof prints, milk duds, and power outage. It’s true boys and girls, Santa died.